It took me a few days to muster the courage to listen to myself. It then took me another few days to watch myself. I dread both. It requires a certain kind of confidence or not giving a f*#%! to not cringe while critiquing every aspect of yourself. I have plenty of confidence, but there’s something about seeing a reflection of yourself that is just so darn hard. Holding a mirror to yourself is scary and arguably the hardest task for most of us. It’s just easier to deflect, ignore, be in denial about aspects of yourself that you’re not too keen on or too traumatic to face. What-ever the many reasons, it will always surface one way or another regardless of your every effort to suppress it.
I’m only now facing my traumas head on, and it’s with the help of a therapist. To have a therapist is to be in a privileged position. I acknowledge my privilege. I acknowledge the countless people that cannot afford nor have access to mental health services. This inequity and continual decrease in funding for mental health is why I am an advocate for mental health services and resources for those most marginalized and under-represented, BIPOC (Black, Indigenous, People of Color) communities; whether it was through my advocacy work in Washington D.C. or as an educator at a middle school and high school or volunteering and serving on the board of an incredible holistic health nonprofit, Sol Sisters. My current goal is to help build mental health services and programs for BIPOC youth and families through the good work at Safer Together. I was their programs and operations consultant to now Director of Programs.
So when my dear friend Patty Alvarado (founder of Alvarado Therapy) asked me to be on her podcast, I was beholden to share my mental health journey to help de-stigmatize mental health needs. I hope my story can inspire you to begin talking about your mental health, to seek help, to share your vital journey with others too.
You can also listen to our conversation while preparing your favorite meal, driving, running your usual route, in the shower, or when ever you need a laugh at Alvarado Therapy’s podcast (I think we’re funny, no, I know we’re funny lol). While you’re there, subscribe to their enlightening podcast. Trust me, it’s worth it.
Asian American Federation (@AAFederation): In light of continuing attacks and violence against Asian Americans, download @AAFederation’s Stay Safe from Hate booklet in 5 Asian languages with strategies to stay safe. Share with your families and friends. Download FREE here.
Helen Zia’s Washington Post Op-ed (@HelenZiaReal): “Targeting Asians and Asian Americans will make it harder to stop covid-19”: Read @HelenZiaReal op-ed to understand how the recent attacks against Asians and Asian Americans is a recurring theme in America, but that we can do better than this, and we have.
Annie Anlin Cheng’s New York Times Op-Ed: “What This Wave of Anti-Asian Violence Reveals About America”: Read Anne A. Cheng’s @nytimes Op-Ed to learn about the uncomfortable truth about how attention to nonwhite groups is only as pressing as the injuries that they suffered.
NPR interview with Dale Minami: Educate yourself! @DaleMinami gives a lesson about the long history of anti-Asian discrimination and racism in the U.S. on @npratc @NPR. From Chinese Exclusion to Muslim and Sikh discrimination after 9/11.
Li Zhou’s Vox article on The long history of anti-Asian hate in America, explained: “Forever Foreigners” read @liszhou explanation of how this stereotype has been used for over a century to exclude, discriminate, and enact violence against Asian Americans.
#3 – Support AAPI Social Justice Organizations Taking Action:
#5 – Take a Harassment & Intervention Training HERE.
#6 – Diversify Your Sources – By interviewing and quoting Asian American experts. You can find many of them at The Asian American Journalists Association’s speakers bureau at AAJAStudio.org
Let’s do this! Thank you for caring and always in community,
This is a topic near and dear to me. Since childhood, I understood very early on what racism, discrimination, and bias were. When you experience it continuously, it’s undeniable—it guts you at your core. I may not have had the intellectual words to describe it back then like I can today, but the feeling is visceral—the same—then and now. Sadly, I can say it’s a familiar feeling and for my parents too.
My parents gave their all to ensure a better life for their six children in the U.S. A better future than in war-torn, poverty-stricken Vietnam. Due to the Vietnam war, both maternal and paternal grandparents starved to death. Famine is one of many life-altering effects from war—all wars—not just the Vietnam War also known as The American War in Vietnam. So what are families to do? They migrate to much less inflicted places, like the United States. Often times, the only choice is to do so by any means necessary.
The U.S. originally belonged to Indigenous peoples until they too experienced a war, genocide, forced migration, re-education schools brought onto them by immigrant Europeans. Like most immigrants, these Europeans fled their motherland for freedoms not granted in their homeland. So instead, they left to colonize and design the United States of America as it is today.
As a history lover, history—for me—is everything. It determines and shapes our present and future. History is too often written by the winners. I would not be surprised if, for many of you, my brief video of Asian American Pacific Islander history provides new information. I truly hope so. But here-in-lies the problem—such omissions and ignorance continue to breed and justify bias, discrimination, racism, white supremacy, and the status quo in America, vis-a-vis the recent rise in anti-Asian bias and violence. This also hits closer to home because a friend’s mom was a recent victim of such violence in San Jose, California.
Hence, let’s all elevate the necessary visibility to this abhorrent rise in violence towards our AAPI elders and communities, support Asian/AAPI owned small businesses, and the organizations doing something about it:
Watch the short video to learn how a modern day women’s rights movement started and successfully marketed and executed. This is also a brilliant testament to strength in numbers.
All of these terms are acceptable. However, the consensus is that whenever possible, Native people prefer to be called by their specific tribal name. In the United States, Native American has been widely used but is falling out of favor with some groups, and the terms American Indian or Indigenous American are preferred by many Native people.
Enjoy the brief video of one of the most inspiring women in U.S. history, Dr. Susan La Flesche Picotte.
According to the 2010 Decennial Census, 0.9% of the U.S. population, or 2.9 million people, identified as American Indian or Alaska Native alone, while 1.7% of the U.S. population, or 5.2 million people, identified as American Indian or Alaska Native alone or in combination with another race. This is an increase since 2000 of over 39%. With the upcoming 2020 Decennial Census, the population is expected to increase once again.1
Approximately 4,871,103 million American Indians and Alaska Natives are of voting age.2
About 29% of American Indians and Alaska Natives are under the age of 18, while 21.9% of the total U.S. population is under the age of 18.3
The median age on reservations is 29, while the median age for the total U.S. population is 38.4
According to the Census Bureau 2018 Population Estimates, the states with the highest proportion of American Indians and Alaska Natives are: Alaska (27.9%), Oklahoma (17.4%), New Mexico (14.5%), South Dakota (12%), and Montana (9.2%).5
By 2060, the projected U.S. American Indian and Alaska Native population is estimated to reach 10 million people, or approximately 2.4% of the U.S. population.6
HEALTH DISPARITIES
When compared to all other U.S. races, American Indians and Alaska Natives have a lower life expectancy by 5.5 years. This includes higher rates of death from chronic illness, including diabetes, chronic liver disease, cirrhosis, mellitus, and suicide.7
American Indians and Alaska Natives die of heart disease at a rate 1.3 times higher than all other races; diabetes at a rate of 3.2 times higher; chronic liver disease and cirrhosis at a rate of 4.6 times higher; and, intentional self-harm and suicide at a rate of 1.7 times higher.8
For American Indian and Alaska Native youth, the rate of suicide is 2.5 times higher than the rest of the country. It is the highest youth suicide rate among all other races/ethnicities in the country.9
TRIBAL ECONOMIES
American Indian and Alaska Native businesses had an estimated buying power of $115 billion in 2018, larger than many countries, including Serbia, Panama, Uganda, and Costa Rica.10
The number of American Indian— and Alaska Native—owned businesses totaled 272,919 in 2012, a 15% increase since 2007. The businesses’ total worth of receipts was $38.8 billion, up 13% from 2007.1
American Indian— and Alaska Native—owned businesses accounted for 12.9% of all jobs in the state of Oklahoma (96,177 total jobs), while they employed 27,300 jobs in Washington state, 41,700 jobs in Minnesota, and 12,840 jobs in Idaho. In Washington and Minnesota, businesses contributed $255 million and $539 million in goods and services, respectively.12
American Indian and Alaska Natives operated approximately 60,083 farms, comprising over 58.7 million acres of land, and conducted $3.33 billion in total sales, with $1.43 billion from crops and $2.11 billion from livestock and poultry.13
PUBLIC SAFETY & SECURITY
Tribally operated law enforcement agencies employ 4,500 full-time personnel and 3,000 sworn officers, as of 2008. There are 1.3 sworn police officers for approximately every 1,000 tribal residents.14
Tribal law enforcement, which comprises only 0.004% of the nation’s law enforcement is responsible for patrolling approximately 1% of the total U.S. population and 2% of the nation’s landmass.15
The estimated capacity for jails in Indian Country increased from approximately 3,800 in 2015 to 4,090 in 2016.16
The rate of assault (homicide) among American Indians and Alaska Natives is more than double the rate for the country as a whole among all races: American Indians and Alaska Natives have a rate of 11.4%, while all races have a rate of 5.4%.17
American Indians and Alaska Natives are more likely to experience violent crimes at a rate of two and a half times higher than the national average, and in comparison to all other racial/ethnic groups, they are two times more likely to experience rape or sexual assault crimes.18
84.3% of American Indian and Alaska Native women, or four in five, will experience violence in their lifetime. In addition, 56.1% of American Indian and Alaska Native women have experience sexual violence in their lifetime.19
About 59 percent of tribes have a tribal judicial system.20
Over twenty-five tribal nations govern lands adjacent to the national borders or land directly accessible by boat from the national borders. Tribal lands share 260 miles of international borders, which is 100 miles longer than California’s border with Mexico.21
FAMILIES, HOUSING, & QUALITY OF LIFE
In 2017, there were approximately 574,313 American Indian and Alaska Native families.25
The percentage of American Indian and Alaska Native homeowners who owned their own home in 2017 was 459,158 thousand. This is less than 1% of all owner-occupied homes and compares to a rate of 63.8% for the total U.S. population.26
The median household income in 2017 for American Indians and Alaska Natives was $40,315. This compares to $57,652 for the nation as a whole.27
The percentage of American Indian and Alaska Natives living in poverty in 2017 was estimated to be 26.8%. This compares to 14.6% for the nation as a whole.28
TRIBAL LANDS, FORESTS, & ROADS
There are currently 574 federally recognized tribal nations and Alaska Native villages, with the total land mass under American Indian or Alaska Native control comprising about 100 million acres. That land mass would make Indian Country the fourth-largest state in the United States.29
The Navajo Nation reservation would comprise the 42nd largest state in the U.S., and is larger than the following 10 states: Connecticut, Delaware, Hawaii, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Hampshire, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Vermont, and West Virginia. An additional 19 tribal nations are each larger than the state of Rhode Island, while 12 tribal nations are each larger than the state of Delaware.30
There are 305 forested Indian reservations which encompass 18 million acres of forestland, with 6 million commercial timberlands, 4 million commercial woodlands, and 8 million non-commercial timberlands and woodlands.31
In 2016, there were 161,000 miles of existing and proposed roads on tribal lands that qualify for federal funding. Of the existing roads, 75% are not paved. Lack of road maintenance has been cited as contributing to low school attendance by students from reservations.32
EDUCATION
American Indians and Alaska Natives attend post-secondary education at a rate of 17%, in comparison to 60% among the total U.S. population.33
At 32%, American Indians and Alaska Natives had the lowest rate of reported zero-absences from school among other race/ethnic groups, from a 2015 survey of 8th graders.34
In 2018, 45% of top marketing positions at ANA client-side member organizations are held by women—according to results from the trade group’s inaugural scorecard which highlights marketers’ progress in gender equality and ethnic diversity.
In 2018, despite nearing gender parity, only 13% of Chief Marketing Officers or CMO equivalents are people of color; 5% are Hispanic/Latin, 5% are Asian and 3% are black. The survey examined industries including banking and financial services, food and beverage, technology, sports and entertainment and consumer packaged goods.
In 2019, just over 11% of Creative Directors in the industry are women.
Marketing, communications, and advertising yield vast influence in our social societies. They shape, influence, reinforce perceptions of others as well as beliefs. This is why propaganda marketing and control of media remain fundamental tools utilized by dictators. The messages we receive daily are constant. They are both explicit and subliminal aka implicit. Hence, does it matter who’s in the top marketing leadership positions?
As you will see in the short video, since the 1960s, Sylvia Rivera was a force for trans and LGBTIQ rights. Progress had been made because of her and countless activists. However, the alarming numbers of murders and discrimination of trans people remain an essential reminder that much more visibility and work still need to be done.
2020 HAD THE HIGHEST REPORTED MURDERS OF TRANSGENDER & GENDER NON-CONFORMING
According to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation, 2020 has seen at least 37 transgender and gender non-conforming people violently killed, more than any other year since HRC began tracking this data in 2013. HRC has now tracked more than 200 deaths since 2013.
The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) Foundation is the educational arm of the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and queer (LGBTQ) civil rights organization. They released in late 2020 “An Epidemic Of Violence: Fatal Violence Against Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming People in the United States in 2020,” a distressing report honoring the at least 37 transgender and gender non-conforming people killed in 2020 and shining a light on data that HRC has collected since 2013 on the epidemic of violence.
Many factors can lead to this violence, including anti-transgender stigma that can lead to the denial of opportunities in society, such as employment discrimination and exclusion from health care, as well as to increased risk factors such as poverty and homelessness. The combination of these factors, which are often exacerbated by racism and sexism, can lead to an increased risk of fatal violence.
The report lays out federal and state actions that would move us closer to ending violence against trans and gender non-conforming people. The report also lays out what people can do to help combat this violence. This includes working to eliminate stigma against trans and gender non-conforming people, using the correct names and pronouns, supporting laws and policies that prohibit discrimination based on gender identity, uplifting transgender and gender non-conforming voices and building inclusive communities throughout society. HRC’s Transgender Justice Initiative was launched in 2019 to dismantle unjust systemic barriers to transgender empowerment and help end the epidemic of violence by addressing the root causes of the physical danger, hatred, and discrimination faced by transgender people in the U.S.
The below reference guide for transgender are courtesy of glaad.org.
GLOSSARY OF TERMS – TRANSGENDER
Sex – The classification of a person as male or female. At birth, infants are assigned a sex, usually based on the appearance of their external anatomy. (This is what is written on the birth certificate.) A person’s sex, however, is actually a combination of bodily characteristics including: chromosomes, hormones, internal and external reproductive organs, and secondary sex characteristics.
Gender Identity – A person’s internal, deeply held sense of their gender. For transgender people, their own internal gender identity does not match the sex they were assigned at birth. Most people have a gender identity of man or woman (or boy or girl). For some people, their gender identity does not fit neatly into one of those two choices (see non-binary and/or genderqueer below.) Unlike gender expression (see below) gender identity is not visible to others.
Gender Expression – External manifestations of gender, expressed through a person’s name, pronouns, clothing, haircut, behavior, voice, and/or body characteristics. Society identifies these cues as masculine and feminine, although what is considered masculine or feminine changes over time and varies by culture. Typically, transgender people seek to align their gender expression with their gender identity, rather than the sex they were assigned at birth.
Sexual Orientation – Describes a person’s enduring physical, romantic, and/or emotional attraction to another person. Gender identity and sexual orientation are not the same. Transgender people may be straight, lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer. For example, a person who transitions from male to female and is attracted solely to men would typically identify as a straight woman.
Transgender (adj.) – An umbrella term for people whose gender identity and/or gender expression differs from what is typically associated with the sex they were assigned at birth. People under the transgender umbrella may describe themselves using one or more of a wide variety of terms – including transgender. Some of those terms are defined below. Use the descriptive term preferred by the person. Many transgender people are prescribed hormones by their doctors to bring their bodies into alignment with their gender identity. Some undergo surgery as well. But not all transgender people can or will take those steps, and a transgender identity is not dependent upon physical appearance or medical procedures.
Transsexual (adj.) – An older term that originated in the medical and psychological communities. Still preferred by some people who have permanently changed – or seek to change – their bodies through medical interventions, including but not limited to hormones and/or surgeries. Unlike transgender, transsexual is not an umbrella term. Many transgender people do not identify as transsexual and prefer the word transgender. It is best to ask which term a person prefers. If preferred, use as an adjective: transsexual woman or transsexual man.
Trans – Used as shorthand to mean transgender or transsexual – or sometimes to be inclusive of a wide variety of identities under the transgender umbrella. Because its meaning is not precise or widely understood, be careful when using it with audiences who may not understand what it means. Avoid unless used in a direct quote or in cases where you can clearly explain the term’s meaning in the context of your story.
Cross-dresser – While anyone may wear clothes associated with a different sex, the term cross-dresser is typically used to refer to men who occasionally wear clothes, makeup, and accessories culturally associated with women. Those men typically identify as heterosexual. This activity is a form of gender expression and not done for entertainment purposes. Cross-dressers do not wish to permanently change their sex or live full-time as women. Replaces the term “transvestite”.
Transition – Altering one’s birth sex is not a one-step procedure; it is a complex process that occurs over a long period of time. Transition can include some or all of the following personal, medical, and legal steps: telling one’s family, friends, and co-workers; using a different name and new pronouns; dressing differently; changing one’s name and/or sex on legal documents; hormone therapy; and possibly (though not always) one or more types of surgery. The exact steps involved in transition vary from person to person. Avoid the phrase “sex change”.
Sex Reassignment Surgery (SRS) – Also called Gender Confirmation Surgery (GCS). Refers to doctor-supervised surgical interventions, and is only one small part of transition (see transition above). Avoid the phrase “sex change operation.” Do not refer to someone as being “pre-op” or “post-op.” Not all transgender people choose to, or can afford to, undergo medical surgeries.
Gender Identity Disorder (GID) – outdated, see Gender DysphoriaGender DysphoriaIn 2013, the American Psychiatric Association released the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) which replaced the outdated entry “Gender Identity Disorder” with Gender Dysphoria, and changed the criteria for diagnosis. The necessity of a psychiatric diagnosis remains controversial, as both psychiatric and medical authorities recommend individualized medical treatment through hormones and/or surgeries to treat gender dysphoria. Some transgender advocates believe the inclusion of Gender Dysphoria in the DSM is necessary in order to advocate for health insurance that covers the medically necessary treatment recommended for transgender people.
Transgender women are not cross-dressers or drag queens. Drag queens are men, typically gay men, who dress like women for the purpose of entertainment. Be aware of the differences between transgender women, cross-dressers, and drag queens. Use the term preferred by the person. Do not use the word “transvestite” at all, unless someone specifically self-identifies that way.
OTHER TERMS YOU MAY HEAR
You may hear the following terms when doing research on transgender issues or speaking to an interview subject. As they are not commonly known outside the LGBTQ community, they will require context and definition if used in mainstream media.
Cisgender – A term used by some to describe people who are not transgender. “Cis-” is a Latin prefix meaning “on the same side as,” and is therefore an antonym of “trans-.” A more widely understood way to describe people who are not transgender is simply to say non-transgender people.
Gender Non-Conforming – A term used to describe some people whose gender expression is different from conventional expectations of masculinity and femininity. Please note that not all gender non-conforming people identify as transgender; nor are all transgender people gender non-conforming. Many people have gender expressions that are not entirely conventional – that fact alone does not make them transgender. Many transgender men and women have gender expressions that are conventionally masculine or feminine. Simply being transgender does not make someone gender non-conforming. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as gender non-conforming.
Non-binary and/or genderqueer – Terms used by some people who experience their gender identity and/or gender expression as falling outside the categories of man and woman. They may define their gender as falling somewhere in between man and woman, or they may define it as wholly different from these terms. The term is not a synonym for transgender or transsexual and should only be used if someone self-identifies as non-binary and/or genderqueer.
TRANSGENDER NAMES, PRONOUN USAGE, & DESCRIPTIONS
Always use a transgender person’s chosen name. Many transgender people are able to obtain a legal name change from a court. However, some transgender people cannot afford a legal name change or are not yet old enough to legally change their name. They should be afforded the same respect for their chosen name as anyone else who uses a name other than their birth name (e.g., celebrities).
Use the pronoun that matches the person’s authentic gender. A person who identifies as a certain gender, whether or not that person has taken hormones or undergone surgery, should be referred to using the pronouns appropriate for that gender. If you are not certain which pronoun to use, ask the person, “What pronouns do you use?”
If it is not possible to ask a transgender person which pronoun they use, use the pronoun that is consistent with the person’s appearance and gender expression or use the singular they. For example, if a person wears a dress and uses the name Susan, feminine pronouns are usually appropriate. Or it is also acceptable to use the singular they to describe someone when you don’t wish to assign a gender. For example: “Every individual should be able to express their gender in a way that is comfortable for them.”
Some people use the singular they to reflect their non-binary gender identity and/or gender expression. In 2015, The Washington Post updated its style guide to include the singular they to describe people who “identify as neither male nor female.” It is increasingly common for people who have a non-binary gender identity and/or gender expression to use they/them as their pronoun. For example: “Jacob writes eloquently about their non-binary identity. They have also appeared frequently in the media to talk about their family’s reaction to their gender expression.”
It is never appropriate to put quotation marks around either a transgender person’s chosen name or the pronoun that reflects that person’s gender identity.
TERMS TO AVOID
PROBLEMATIC
PREFERRED
“transgenders,” “a transgender”Transgender should be used as an adjective, not as a noun. Do not say, “Tony is a transgender,” or “The parade included many transgenders.”
“transgender people”,”a transgender person”For example, “Tony is a transgender man,” or “The parade included many transgender people.”
“transgendered”The adjective transgender should never have an extraneous “-ed” tacked onto the end. An “-ed” suffix adds unnecessary length to the word and can cause tense confusion and grammatical errors. It also brings transgender into alignment with lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer. You would not say that Elton John is “gayed” or Ellen DeGeneres is “lesbianed,” therefore you would not say Chaz Bono is “transgendered.”
“transgender”
“transgenderism”This is not a term commonly used by transgender people. This is a term used by anti-transgender activists to dehumanize transgender people and reduce who they are to “a condition.”
“being transgender”Refer to being transgender instead, or refer to the transgender community. You can also refer to the movement for transgender equality and acceptance.
“sex change,” “pre-operative,” “post-operativeReferring to a “sex-change operation,” or using terms such as “pre-operative” or “post-operative,” inaccurately suggests that a person must have surgery in order to transition. Avoid overemphasizing surgery when discussing transgender people or the process of transition.
“transition”
“biologically male,” “biologically female,” “genetically male,” “genetically female,” “born a man,” “born a woman”Problematic phrases like those above are reductive and overly-simplify a very complex subject. As mentioned above, a person’s sex is determined by a number of factors – not simply genetics – and a person’s biology does not “trump” a person’s gender identity. Finally, people are born babies: they are not “born a man” or “born a woman.”
“assigned male at birth,” “assigned female at birth” or “designated male at birth,” “designated female at birth”
“passing” and “stealth”While some transgender people may use these terms among themselves, it is not appropriate to repeat them in mainstream media unless it’s in a direct quote. The terms refer to a transgender person’s ability to go through daily life without others making an assumption that they are transgender. However, the terms themselves are problematic because “passing” implies “passing as something you’re not,” while “stealth” connotes deceit. When transgender people are living as their authentic selves, and are not perceived as transgender by others, that does not make them deceptive or misleading.
For today’s Talk Less, Listen More Thursday Tip of the Day, I attest that this works. As a conflict mediator, this is a foundational tool I inform all parties involved before the mediation. It sets an important tone and is a critical a ground rule to achieving an effective mediation session.
Below are additional Talk Less, Listen More Thursday video tips to help us all cultivate compassion and empathy. It is through good communication skills that we—as a society—can get closer to peace and love. I truly believe there is nothing good communication can’t solve.
What are other tips and strategies to help us move closer to peace and love?
This short video is a story that’s too common. Although women are equally or more qualified, women are too often snubbed from promotions, recognition, awards, and much more in favor of their male counterparts.
Despite this, Dr. Chien-Shiung Wu continued on her determined and gifted path breaking glass ceilings and opening doors for so many women in the male dominated field of science.
We may not see it or know it when we’re faced by inequity and injustice, but trust that what is happening to you, is happening for you and for the greater good. One woman’s audacious success is everyone’s success.
So thank you Dr. Chien-Shiung Wu for your tenacity to continue doing what is right for you and the world. Your significant contributions have vastly impacted global medicine, health, science, and technology. We are all better off because of you.
For this Women’s Herstory Month who else should I feature?
